Monday, February 10, 2014

Worry Notes

Today, I just sat down for about an hour and just typed down whatever came to mind. Of course, I feel that I have a lot more fears and worries than listed here but I have work to do. I can't just sit around all day doing this, can I? :P  


I’m worried that people will find out that I’m a fraud.

I’m worried that I’ll never make my parents and my brother proud.

I’m worried that I’ll never be able to accomplish any of my dreams, no matter how small.

I’m worried that I’ll end up homeless, living in trash and my own filth, forgotten by my own friends and even family.

I’m worried that I’ll die alone and sad. I’m worried for my parents. They are getting on in years and they seem frailer and frailer with the passing time.

I’m worried that I’ll lose my grandmother soon and with that a precious link to the past. It’ll be much harder to find out about family history, and keep in touch my language and my culture with her gone.

I’m worried that I’ll end up in dead end job that I loathe, to earn money to pay for shit I don’t even need, want or like to fit in a society from which I feel alienated.

I’m worried that I’ll always settle for second best, in regards, to my hopes, aspirations and life goals.

I’m worried that I’ll never graduate from uni with a degree.

I’m worried that I even worry about such things. Sometimes I don’t know if I even want a uni degree. Maybe I just want one because it is what my family expects of me, what society expects of me. This year marks 10 years since I’ve graduated from high school. Since that time, I’ve seen many of my classmates marry, have children, travel around the world, earn doctorates, accomplish so many of these wonderful things in their lives. I’ve felt I’ve done next to nothing with my life, it can be very depressing.

I’m worried that I’ll never be able to travel and see all the places that I’ve dreamed of seeing.

I’m worried for my best friend. I feel he is incredibly intelligent, has a lot going for him and a lot of potential. However, he seems to be in quite a rut. His pessimistic attitude towards everything in his life can be quite grating at times, but I feel he (like myself) just needs a break in his life. I feel like if I push these issues too much, I’ll lose our friendship, so I try to stay quiet. I hope he can find something about which he is truly passionate and turn that attitude of his around.

I’m worried that I’ll associate myself with the wrong people in life, bring all sorts of untold troubles on myself, my family and my friends.

I’m worried that I’m no better than the people I criticise, disdain and condemn; the racists, the homophobes, the misogynists, the rapists, the murderers, the pedophiles, the fascists, exploiters of people and the earth. All of them.

I’m worried about not appearing genuine to people, that I’d be seen a poser.

I’m worried that all my bullshit will finally be exposed to the world to see. I guess that’s related to being worried about being exposed as a fraud and seen as a poser. Perhaps I shouldn’t worry about this, maybe it’d be liberating.

I’m worried about Yoda, that fat fuck of a dog that Dad is looking after. He seems rather unhealthy these days; he doesn’t look like he can jump up or even run anymore. Whenever I mentioned that to Dad, he gets angry. He tells me that he has already reduced Yoda’s meal portions and that he takes Yoda for a walk every day. Every time I see Yoda though, he looks like a few minutes away from keeling over. All things must die. I accept that fact but if he can have a few more healthy years, why not try to give that chance to him? Maybe he’s happy being fat though and it’s none of my business.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Electric Light Orchestra - Evil Woman (With Lyrics HD)

For all of you out who have had their fair share of evil women or men. :P

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

GeoGuessr - Let's explore the world!

I know I don't post very often on here. That must infuriate my readership of one. :P

I saw this nifty little game though and I thought I'd share it. I couldn't make out any location, sometimes my guesses were on whole other continent. For some of you, you may get lucky and receive some big clues like signage or flags. All I got was natural scenery, so unfair!

Whoever happens to be reading this particular blog entry, enjoy and have fun!

GeoGuessr - Let's explore the world!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Tschann Buddhism and The Schaulinn Monastery. 禪宗和西少林寺- Prologue

Tschann Buddhism and the Schaulinn Monastery
Tschann Song und das Westlische Schaulinnkloster
禪宗和西少林寺 (Chánzōng hé Xi Shàolínsì)

By Liang Sijie (Andrew Luong)


The Western Shaolin Monastery (Das Westlische Schaulinnkloster)
Modern Day

Heavy beads of sweat were dripping profusely from young Heinrich’s forehead; his entire body was trembling underneath the torturous afternoon sun. Heinrich’s legs failed him tremendously. His ankles were sore from dozens of ant bites. This kind of pain made him seriously doubt his desire to continue his training as a Schaulinn monk. Schifu was circling him and gazing like a hawk, ready to correct any flaws in Heinrich’s stance with a quick rap of his trusty cane.

It seemed to Heinrich that Schifu was a lot stricter towards him than any of the other monks. There were days where Heinrich felt like running away from this life as a monk. He wanted to return to his parent’s dairy farm. Even when he was living on the farm, Heinrich had always wanted to be a Schaulinn monk. He was inspired by Schaulinn Gong Fu, ever since he saw a group of monks practicing their techniques on a hill near the farm. Life on the farm had bored him almost to death. He had journeyed to the monastery and begged the Abbot many times to accept him as a student. When he was finally accepted, he was incredibly joyful.

However lately, he has felt that he has learnt nothing of value and that his martial arts progress has been excruciatingly slow. His doubts were beginning to inspire fond memories of the hum of the tractors, the fat docile cows, the windswept fields and his small homestead. He missed parents and his siblings. He missed home.

Just as he was experiencing one of these fond memories, a sharp pain suddenly shot up his spine, he could no longer bear the stance. As he was about to collapse, Schifu used his cane to promptly prod Heinrich hard in the chest.

Schifu remarked, “Ah ah, when everyone else finishes their training sets, you can finish here.” He then quickly proceeded to adjust Heinrich’s stance with his trusty cane, meanwhile instructing him with a soft but firm voice, “Knees bent, butt out, back straight, stomach clenched, thighs parallel to the ground and fists to the side.”

Heinrich was growing impatient. In his periphery, he saw his fellow monks in their stride, swift, powerful and uncompromising in their movements. He was angry at his own weakness. As he dropped his weight slightly, he received a received another prod to his chest from Schifu. Losing his temper momentarily, he blurted, “Every day, you make me perform this stupid horse stance, while I see everyone else learning real stuff, kicks and punches, useful techniques. You bring me out to this field for what?! So the mosquitoes can feast on me? So my head can be roasted by the sunshine?!”

Heinrich received another hard whack to his butt from Schifu for losing his temper. Schifu then raised his cane and pointed it at Heinrich’s face.

He then proceeded to lecture Heinrich, “Watch your temper, young man. This exercise may seem mundane and of no use to you. But should you give up and not master it, you will regret doing so. Learning how to kick and punch marvellously before building good balance with your stance is like building a magnificent palace on shifting sands. Without a good foundation, you will surely fail in your martial arts journey”

Heinrich was not very convinced by Schifu’s short lecture and admitted, “Schifu, I don’t know if I have what it takes to continue my journey. It’s too hard, I feel like I’m weaker than the others. I should have just stayed on the dairy farm. I feel like quitting sometimes.”

Schifu stopped pacing around Heinrich and in a stern voice responded to Heinrich with yet another short lecture, “I don’t want hear this sort of weakness from you. Do you forget that you begged the Abbot to allow you into the monastery? Quitting will make you and the Abbot lose face. Also, what is one thing that Schaulinn monks never do?”

Accepting Schifu’s words, Heinrich quietly answered, “Schaulinn monks never quit.”

Hearing the desired response, Schifu continued pacing. Schifu saw much potential in young Heinrich, even if Heinrich didn’t see it himself. Heinrich reminded Schifu of himself and his own early years at the monastery. He was determined to see Heinrich realise that potential. For that to happen, he knew that Heinrich needed extra motivation and encouragement from time to time. Schifu decided that today was one of those times and told Heinrich,“Correct. Now let me tell you a story, Heinrich. A story I think you’ll appreciate.”

Heinrich cheekily responded, “Okay! Does that mean I can sit and rest while you’re telling it to me?!”

WHACK! Heinrich received yet another sharp strike to his butt from Schifu’s cane. Schifu almost barked his command, “No! Stay in the stance!”

With Heinrich’s attention, Schifu commenced the story, “This story starts in a far far away place in the east called Dschong Gwoh…”



Schaulinn= a transliteration for 少林, Shàolín.

Schifu= a transliteration for the Chinese term for “master/teacher/expert”, 師傅 Shīfu .

Dschong Gwo= a transliteration for 中國 Zhōngguó, in other words, China.

Horse Stance is a basic foundation stance that is shared across many Chinese martial arts.

Thanks again, to Roger for the German translation and transliterations.

In this timeline/story, I also considered Tschann Vodschiausmus as the translated title for Chan/Zen Buddhism. Vodschiau being derived from 佛教, Fójiào . The German suffix “-smus” akin to “ism” in English. Shaolin Chan/Zen Buddhism would be the one of the first, if not the first, sects of Buddhism to enter Europe. Thus Chinese terminology might be used and transliterated. Eventually, I decided to go with Tschann Song easier to read and it is a lot catchier as well. That it is derived from the commonly used Chinese term for Chan Buddhism, 禪宗, Chánzōng .

Also Vodschiausmus wouldn’t make much sense, as 佛教 Fójiào already means Buddhism. So basically it’d be like saying Buddhism-ism.


Tschann Buddhism and The Schaulinn Monastery. 禪宗和西少林寺- Introduction.

Before I post the prologue, I'd like to give an introduction to my general idea.

The Abbot of the Shaolin Monastery chooses a select bunch of elite monks for an introspective and religious journey west to India. However they get majorly lost and find themselves in a remote corner of Germany, well, the Germanic area of Europe anyway. The monks too far from home and out of resources, accept the hospitality of the locals. In time, they build a monastery resembling that of the one back home on Songshan.

As a sign of gratitude, they accept locals in for Shaolin training. The monks also take it upon themselves to peacefully offer Chan/Zen Buddhism teachings to the locals. Eventually a few become Zen Buddhists, though with their own little interpretations.

Tschann Buddhism and the Schaulinn Monastery was a dream-inspired idea. Basically a thought experiment, where by Chinese language and culture is introduced into Germany somehow and eventually flourishes. It doesn't replace German language and culture, nor does it become dominant. However, it continues to thrive and influence Germany and Europe as a whole up to modern times. Most noticeably in the field of martial arts and religion, due to the sort of Chinese people that enter into Europe.

As for plausibility, screw plausibility! It's just an idea that has been in swirling in my mind for a while now, one which I want to write down in story form. So I hope you all enjoy it and don't take it too seriously.

In terms of precise time periods and locations, I thought that obsessing too much on it would drain my creative juices. So I left those to the reader's imagination and discretion.


Note: Thanks to my German friend, Roger with translation and transliteration help.


Sunday, October 16, 2011

Cities and Women :-P

When I occasionally asked my grandmother about her travels, she would often remark, "我什麼地方都去過,我能說最美麗的地方也是最醜的地方" (Translation: I've been around the world and I can surely say that the most beautiful places are also the ugliest)

It took me a while to understand what she meant by this. I had to travel around a little bit and there are indeed many more places on my travel list. However, I have come to the conclusion that grandma's words were true indeed. The dual contradictory nature and combination of beauty and ugliness in many of the world's great cities is probably what contributes to their greatness in the first place.

It got me to thinking about Perth and my feeling's about it. I would have to say that, in general, Perth is nice, clean, quiet and boring. Neither beautiful, nor ugly. Naturally, in my sick twisted mind, I made analogies involving women in regards to my ideal city.

As I told a friend, I like Perth, she's a nice kind lass. However she's sort of that plain chick that I wouldn't mind falling back on and settling down with if nothing else worked out in the future.

Unfortunately I'm attracted to the loud brash but incredibly sexy bitch who fucks my brains out but always stomps me on the nuts as well. She's frantic, she constantly mouths off, makes me feel small, she just doesn't give a rat's ass.

Sometimes she might show that she cares, she kisses, caresses and embraces me tenderly. She even makes me a delicious sandwich occasionally. Then afterwards, she goes back to ball busting me.

From what I've read and seen, such sexy bitches would be NYC, Beijing, Taipei and London.

At the end of the day, I doubt that I could make it work long-term with any of these sexy bitches, they'd probably wear me down. But I'd sure love to try, just to experience the food, culture, history, artchitecture and lifestyle. I'm sure, the nice girl back at home will forgive me for my transgressions and welcome me back. :-P

In saying that, that nice plain girl does have a few of her own problems, which I'll probably discuss later on in another blog entry. In the mean time, I think the blog linked below explores those problems rather interestingly.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Quick thoughts on this year, 2011

One has to wonder if 2011 is the Year of the Alien Space Bats?! :-P I call for the Butterfly Effect to be renamed the Tunisian Fruit Vendor effect.

With so many anniversaries crammed into this year, along with the great number of natural disasters and political events, the Gods must have been bored and decided that this year was the year to have fun.

Take into consideration, some of these anniversaries

100 years ago, the Xinhai Revolution was launched in China.
20 years ago, MJ and the Bulls won their first championship.
20 years ago as well, the USSR collapsed.
50 years, construction began on the Berlin Wall.
1300 years ago, the Ummayad Caliphate invaded the Iberian peninsula.

I could go on ;-) Is there something unique about years that end in "1"?

We have had floods, droughts and state-sized cyclones in Australia this year. Massive typhoons in SE Asia. An Earthquake in Japan and subsequent nuclear meltdown. The so-called Arab Spring across the Middle East. The Revolution in Libya. The anti-corruption protests in India sparked by Anna Hazare's own protests. This year just seems so intense, and there's still another 4 months to go. I'm both curious and a little worried as to what still might come.